WOW! I am so sorry to keep you all waiting, at least I hope you are all still waiting. I have really just been enjoying my summer with my family, I feel like during my surrogacy I was so sick that my time was mostly spent in bed wishing I could run and play with my girl...now that I am able to do just that, I am...and I am loving every second of it!
But I think its finally time to fill you all in on the heart warming ending to this wonderful journey we started just a little over a year ago. I use the word “ending” loosely though because though the surrogacy has ended our friendship has only just begun...plans are already in the works for a reunion in France next July and we couldn’t be more thrilled. But for now, here is how our surrogacy journey ended...
I will say, the day came much to soon for all of us. None of us wanted to say good bye, and it was easy to pretend the departure day would never come. We spent our nights visiting over meals and laughs with the couple, we held the twins tight, fed them, changed their diapers, and coo’ed over their beautiful smiles. My daughters fell head over heels for the twins, Ruby was never without a baby on her lap! The guys were so patient with my daughters and were always willing to have them participate in feedings and changings, this made it even easier to pretend they would be staying around forever. But you can only put reality off for so long, weeks turned into days, days turned in to hours and before we knew it Chris and I had packed our girls up and were driving to the hotel where the new family was staying so that we could say our good byes.
I had rehearse all day what I was going to say, when I was going to give them hugs, how I was going to give them the gift we had made and how I would say goodbye to the twins...as we drove to Plainfield (where they stayed) we were all silent, i’m not sure any of us knew how to comfort one another during this time. So while it was quite, I again went over what I planned on saying...It was perfect! it went something like this:
“ A year ago we embarked on this crazy journey with two men we hardly knew with the intentions to teach our children to be humble, teach them to be giving, teach them the importance of equality and love, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine an out come like this, one where we too learned many things. Over this year we have learned that sometimes you find more in common with two gay men who live an ocean away then people who have known your whole life. we have learned that through an experience such as a surrogacy its impossible to walk away without a massive amount of love and respect for one another, but the most important thing we have learned throughout this year is that family is not defined by blood relation because over this last year our family has grown by 4. We can not imagine our lives without the twins and the guys in it, and these months and years without you only minutes away will be the hardest months and years of our lives. we look forward to keeping in close contact and celebrating the milestones as they approach, we look forward to sharing special moments with you through emails, phone calls, and skyping....and please know that though you are many many miles away you are always close in our heart and you will always be on our minds! We love you, and we have cherished this time together and look forward to the day when we are together again, sharing laughs, meals, and coo’ing over those beautiful smiles”
This is what I had practiced saying, however as you can imagine once I got to the hotel it was a whole different ball game.
We pulled up and one of the guys was outside doing the last minute packing. the car was jam packed, full of baby supplies and suitcases...I looked at the packed car then at him and as we made eye contact i felt my nose start to tingle and I could see his eye water, t was too soon to start the sobbing so I instantly started talking about the girls, and making jokes, again pretending today was not the dreaded day. We all headed upstairs to their room, it was bare, other then the two beautiful bundles of joy laying on the couch just waiting our arrival. I could have sworn the they had gotten bigger over night. of course Ruby wasted no time, she wanted a baby on her lap, so did Hazel...maybe it was because the twins were still so small, but they didn’t seem to mind Ruby and Hazel’s not so gentle handling of them. We all had a seat, and for the first time it was hard to make conversation, no one wanted to be the one saying goodbyes, no one wanted to acknowledge that in moments we would all be getting in our cars and driving separate ways.
The girls were done holding the babies, it was now mine and Chris’s turn to hold them and say our goodbyes. This is one of the moments I wished never came, I held Chloe’ she was so cute, chubby cheeks and her little O shaped mouth, always hungry that one! I told her I loved her, and that I would miss having her close. I didn’t want to switch with Chris because I knew that meant my time with Chloe was over, but I did. Garance...She was perfect, so small...which these pretty lips, never did you see her eyes, she always had them closed but when you did, wow, just gorgeous! Again I said the same to her, she and I had some hard times together so seeing her healthy was just overwhelming, and saying goodbye was hard because if you can remember way back to week 14 I thought we would be saying our goodbyes then, what a miracle!
The guys strapped them into their carseats and we grabbed what was left to grab. i could tell Ruby and Hazel were confused, I am sure they assumed we would see them again the following day, but Chris and I knew that wasn’t the case at all. we made it to the parking lot, still not saying much. They put the carseats in the car, and Ruby and Hazel hopped up in there and gave them both kisses and said goodbye, thats when we tried to explain that the babies would finally be going home to see the rest of their family, and it wouldn’t be for a very long time that we would be seeing them again. still it didn’t set in. My girls ran off to play in our car while the four of us adults just blankly stared at each other not sure how to say goodbye. so I started, All I had rehearsed flew out of my head and all I could think to say was “I hope you all have a safe trip, we will miss you and we love you all so much” even that didn’t come out without an out pour of tears. I tried to hold it together but failed. both guys began to cry to, Chris was the only strong one, and even he was having a hard time. Words meant nothing during this time, we all just hugged each other tightly not wanting to let go but knowing we would have to. Finally I had to pull away, I kissed both babies one last time and told them I loved them and walked away without turning back. I saw this confused look in Ruby’s eyes, she had finally figured it out...This was it, there was no tomorrow with these guys and the babies she had grown to love. From the car she ran across the parking lot, arms spread wide open and both men got down on their knees and embraced her in the biggest hug...I knew in that moment it wouldn’t be long before The Cummings Family would reunite with these men and their daughter in France, we had become 1 family over the past year, and although the surrogacy was over this journey had just begun, we have a life time of these moments, so that day was not a goodbye, it was a “Until next time”
So, there you have it, we ended on such a wonderful note, and from that day on we have remained in close contact. Emailing at least twice a week, Skyping, texting, and sending pictures as much as possible. We will be In France for two week In July and that day is always talked about in our house and in theirs.
Thank you all so much for sticking with us through this amazing life changing journey I can honestly say that you have all made this so much more worth while. and sharing my story has brought me so much joy over the past year. I look forward to sharing some great news with you all very soon but until then stay put...I WILL BE WRITING SOON! ;)