Monday, December 20, 2010
As most of you have already heard, we have some pretty exciting news to announce the transfer was 100% successful! Meaning there isn't 1 baby there are 2 babies....TWINS! Needless to say everyone is overjoyed with this wonderful news.
The couple writes me at least 3 times a week to tell me how excited they are. They still can't believe the great news and refuse to believe it until the 1st trimester (the dangerous trimester) is over. Even though they are acting pessimistic, the fact that they are already building on to their house to make room for an extra baby says something entirely different. :)
Now I would like to apologize for my long break from the blog, especially during such an exciting time. My body isn't adjusting to twins as well as I had hoped. It turns out that carrying twins is very different then carrying a single. Everything is doubled, including "Morning Sickness" which has proven to be morning, day, and night sickness. I haven't been able to eat a meal in weeks (which feels like forever) and what little food I do eat (such as Saltines, dry toast, apples, and peppermint) doesn't stay down for longer than 10 minutes. Without nutrients I am having a hard time finding energy, which is an issue with two toddlers! Luckily I have a great support system. My husband has been my rock; he works all day, comes home, takes care of the kids, and does all the house work and cooking. Without him we would probably be starving and living in our own filth. The men we are doing this for are also very supportive; though far away, they always send me "Get Well" messages and ask about my well- being. I am so grateful to have been paired with such a humble and caring couple.
I am in my ninth week of pregnancy, and since this is a surrogacy it is referred to as a "High Risk" pregnancy, meaning I will undergo many more ultrasounds, blood tests, and doctor appointments. I go for my 3rd ultrasound on Wednesday, and the couple is so excited because not only will they be able to see the heart beat (via video), they will be able to hear the heart beat as well as see the babies. I will also be going to my first pregnancy appointment with my own doctor. I am excited to see what he has to say and hear the advice he has to give me. I am even more happy because we are approaching week 10 which means only 3 more weeks until lucky week 13. I am anxious to get past this trimester and enjoy this pregnancy as I have enjoyed my 2 previous pregnancies.
I will be sure to keep everyone as updated as possible in the next couple of weeks, so please continue to follow this amazing journey with us. Stick with me for a couple more weeks, and I promise to write much more, but for now....I am off to rest! Thanks for your love and support!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
As you all know I recently got back from Portland, where the embryo transfer took place. I am happy to say that the transfer was a full success! I am in fact pregnant and can say that I am about 90 % sure both embryos have started to develop (although we will not find out if I am carrying twins for 2 more weeks)
I found out the good news Thursday but I admit that my anxiety got the best of me, leading me to take multiple pregnancy test at home throughout the week. I was nervous because the 1st one came back negative but I read it was much too soon, 2 days later (Tuesday) the second pink line assured me of a pregnancy, Wednesday's test did the same and finally after a blood test on Thursday I got the confirmation from the Oregon clinic.
I was over the moon excited, excited for the pregnancy to actually begin, and even more excited to relay the message to the couple! I emailed them because of the time difference but, that didn't stop either of us from expressing how thrilled we were about the wonderful news we all just received! My email was very straight forward, I didn't want to keep them waiting any longer then they already had been. I titled the email "CONGRATS!" and simply said "The test was positive! So I guess congratulations are in order! You both will be such terrific daddies!" and soon after I was sent the most heart warming email from them...
Still can't believe the news ....I dreaded opening your e mail because I feared the worse...but the answer we hoped for came today !
Maybe you'd like to know how we got this incredible news ? If so, just read after :
I was in my classroom with another teacher, the nap was finished for the kids,and their shoes were back on, the ones who had to go to the restroom had already done what they had to do, we were ready to get back to work ... I heard a very familiar sound : my phone ringing !
I read the text message and couldn't understand the urgency (due to my poor English) ... I was so upset and asked the other teacher how she interpreted the text ... She didn't provide much help ! She was as anxious as me ... I asked her to look after the kids, and I quickly left the classroom, and dashed to the director's office ( she was out today !!!), my fingers were trembling so hard on the computer, I could hardly push the buttons...
we weren't expecting the news so soon, so of course I thought I was about to receive terrible news, and I wasn't prepared! The computer was still loading ... loading for minutes, hours, ... centuries ? Finally the computer was ready ... And ... I had many e mails ! Where was this message ? In the middle of others messages, important messages but I didn't care ... I was looking for "Alexis Cummings" ... Then, there it was! The subject read "congratulations" ... could it be ? Would it be ? .... YES !! It was !
The time I had to wait to find out such fabulous life changing news terrible ... but the answer was so wonderful that the time no longer mattered. Finally the answer we had been hoping for! Of course, it's still early , nothing is really sure : we have to wait months to be sure ...it's very high stairs we have to climb together with many many steps, irregular steps, but another step, a very high one has been climbed today !
Just after getting your email I sent a text to ****** ... saying you had a pregnancy test yesterday and .... The message finished like that ...
1 minute later He replied : AND ????? I answered "PREGNANT".
He was at work and because of legal issues he didn't want to say much in front of his employers so shortly after my text message he called me. The trembling in his voice meant one thing, he was over joyed and excited just like me!
What an extraordinary day ! Thank you !!!
We love you, and miss you and your family,
reading this email put such a rewarding humbling smile on my face and I forwarded it right to Chris, we feel so good about this, and we are overwhelmed with happiness! I can't describe the feelings I felt knowing I just helped make their wish come true! It was nothing short of the same emotions I had telling Chris I was pregnant with our own Children!
So far this pregnancy has been great! Although the transfer took place 12 days ago I am already 5 weeks pregnant! I have experienced cravings, mostly for Buffalo wings which I hope subsides or else I'm going to gain weight much faster then I already am! I haven't experienced much morning sickness but I am already tired of being tired. The doctor explained that the embryos her transferred were VERY strong and since my hormone levels were extremely high we are fully expecting twins. I did what every pregnant woman SHOULDN'T do and read about what to expect when expecting multiples, which gave me my first panic attack. "Don't be alarmed if you gain 5 pounds and 5-7 inches around the belly in the 1st 7 weeks, you will probably look full term by 4 months!!!" Needless to say I am alarmed, even more alarmed that I have gained 2 lbs already at 5 weeks....I worked very hard to lose weight over the summer and for a brief moment I panicked, all my hard work, sweat, and time was for nothing....Then realized that all that hard work and sweat wasn't for nothing, it was just getting me ready for an experience of a life time, it proved that once this is all over, I WILL be able to lose the weight again!
Thank you everyone, for sharing this exciting moment with us! After months of waiting, the great news has arrived and it wouldn't be nearly as rewarding with out the support from all over you!
I look forward to sharing the next bit of new in 2 weeks when we have our first ultrasound to determine how many babies have developed! So stay tuned, there is much more to come!
the luckiest girl in the world,
*I am making a scrapbook from the couple as a gift for them and the baby, please show your support by writing (no more then a paper) them a letter with advice, support, and words of encouragement! I will need them by March: you can email it to firstname.lastname@example.org Thank you for helping me make a priceless gift for an extraordinary couple!
-also, because of legal issues I can not use the couples real names, so in this email to discard the name of one of the men I put "******" in the place of his name!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Long time no blog, I apologize for the long pause! This past month has been so crazy that it has been impossible to update you all on the progress we have made on our surrogacy project. However, I am making time now to inform everyone on some recent and very exciting events that have taken place.
1st, about a month ago I started my medication, and injections, it was rocky at the beginning given my fear of needles but I can honestly say that I am growing used to the shots. I began with a small injection that I gave myself in the fatty tissue of my stomach, the anxiety was much worse the the pain of the stick! besides the injection which lasted 3 weeks I was on climara patches which distributes estrogen through the skin, a baby aspirin to thin my blood, an antibiotic to prevent infection, and a prenatal vitamin. These medications had little side effects so day to day I wasn't to hung up on this part of the process.
2nd, once my stomach injections were over I had to begin a different injection. This shot had cause more anxiety then you know....the needle is about 3 inches long and pretty beefy, needless to say I was in panic mode on night 1! It turns out that having Chris give me the shot (which goes in my butt/low back area) made it much less painful, faster, and put my mind at ease. This shot does not hurt but the medication is given in the form of a thick oil that gets injected into my muscles which makes the muscle very tender and sore. I am still taking this progesterone shot now along with my antibiotic, aspirin, prenatal vitamin, and a steroid that is helping strengthen my immune system. this will continue until at least November 11.
3rd. Sunday we arrived in Portland OR to meet with the couple we are having the baby(ies) for. This time Chris and I brought both girls and my best friend Erica (who has been such a trooper). We had a lovely night with the 2 men although it was a short visit. I made supper, they brought dessert and we just talked the night away about what the future hold for all of us involved in this amazing journey! When they left i had this overwhelming since of happiness and i was reassured once again that this is what I am supposed to do, this is the way I can "give back" I share such a bond with them, and i love them as though they are family. I can honestly say they are the most appreciative people I have ever met and as humble as can be. I am so excited to go through this process with them.
Finally, I can say....The transfer is complete! Today was my appointment and surprisingly I was not nervous as all, anxious maybe, and worried the procedure may be uncomfortable but not nervous! Chris went to my appointment with me and having him there and having his support has and is so heartwarming. We are in this process together and knowing i have his support and encouragement has filled my heart with joy! We arrived at 1:00 and by 2 o'clock the transfer of 2 embryos was a complete success. The doctor was very confident that both embryos will take and said everything looked amazing!
We will be in Portland until Thursday morning, while here I will remain on bed rest (which already has be antsy) Then on Thursday we will make the long trip home and begin living our lives as normal. I am already excited about my pregnancy test on the 11th and even more excited to call the couple and tell them that FINALLY our 2 families become 1!!!
thank you everyone for all your kind words, your support, love, and willingness to follow us through this life changing journey! I have such a great support system and because of my terrific family and friends I am able to give these men the gift of new life! I can not thank you enough!
Stay tuned, a pregnancy announcement is coming in only 9 days!
*please forgive my vauge discriptions and my grammer errors, I have 2 toddlers begging to be on the computer! :)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Sorry I have been absent from the blog for a while. Like I mentioned time and time before, the surrogacy process is a long one. Like most of you; I had no idea it would take this long though. After weeks and months of waiting, I can honestly say progress has been made, and we will be experiencing pregnancy very soon.
Here is what has taken place since last time I blogged: As always, we have been in close touch with the couple we are working with. They are getting very anxious and like any expecting parent, they are getting nervous...plus they have the added stress of "will this work or not?" weighing on them. I too have expressed my feeling of anxiousness and worry and as they put my nerves to rest I do the same for them, I must say...we are a great team.
During the past few days we have finished up all lose ends, paper work, and medical work ups. I have been on birth control for the past 2 months and now my cycle and the egg donors cycle are on the same track. Because so much time, effort and money has been invested into this project extra precautions will take place to insure the likelihood of pregnancy. These precautions are ones that scare me to death....they come in the form of NEEDLES! At the end of this month (Sept 27) I should be starting my progesterone and hormone shots...and I am freaking out. I am banking on the thought "I am doing this for a deserving, loving couple who I care deeply for" to get me through, along with the support and help from my family and friends. These shots will take place every night, one in my back (given by Chris) and one in my stomach. Once I confirm a pregnancy the injections in my stomach will stop but the injections in my back will continue until I am 5 weeks along (And any pregnant woman will agree...5 weeks is a long time). Even though I am really dreading this step in the surrogacy process I am anxiously awaiting it, this is the final step before the transfer...so finally, I can say PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE!
as of now (and this is subject to change but not likely) we will be traveling to Portland for the final time at the end of October or beginning of November. The actual transfer will take place either October 25th or November 2nd. the schedule will look something like this:
If the transfer takes place November 2nd:
We will leave Indiana to Portland November 1st to ensure our arrival for said date.
November 2nd we will arrive at the clinic for the transfer. The actual implantation will take up to 15 minutes, and after the transfer has been made I will stay laying down for 30 minutes.
I will then return to our hotel suite and be on very strict bed rest for 24-48 hours, only getting up to use the restroom!
We will return back to Indiana on the 4th or 5th and go on with our lives and hope that it all went as planned.
All the frustrating waiting is finally paying off, so please hang in there and keep following the blog, I can't wait to announce that we are pregnant and I am anxious to blog about all the steps it has taken to get us there!
Thank you again, for being such a wonderful support system, I am such a lucky girl!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Well it has been a busy summer, which is why I haven't had much time to blog as much as I would like. Between play dates, vacation, and all the tasks that come with being a stay at home mom it has been impossible to spend time on the computer.
Speaking of vacation, we recently went to Florida with our daughters, my aunt, and her 2 kids. We had a great time visiting the beach, spending time pool side and running around Disney. I will admit, I was sad for it to end but excited at the same time. The end of our vacation meant a long drive home, unpacking, and endless days wishing I were back at the beach...but it also meant Chris and I would be flying out to Portland to visit the clinic where the embryo transfer will take place. So after 6 days in Florida our journey home was bitter sweet!
We finally made it home sweet home on Saturday July 31st at 1:00 a.m. (so I guess you could say it was Sunday August 1st). By the time we unpacked, repacked, and straighten the house up it was time to wake up and get ready to head to the airport. It was a long flight to Portland but very well worth it! We were overwhelmed by the fantastic views or Mt. Hood, the winding steep roads, and the culture. Everyone was so friendly, out going, and proud to be from this fabulous place that they call home! Our hotel was just as unique as the little shops and stores lining the roads. Furnished with a bright pink couch, and bed sheets and pillows of all sorts of bright colors (matching the center piece on the table which was a vase filled with salt water taffy) I felt like I was in a high end boutique rather then a hotel room. I could honestly go on and on about how much I love Portland and all the pleasures it brought (including the best meal I have ever had), but I am sure you are more interested in why we were there....right?
We got there Sunday evening and Monday morning we traveled .3 miles down the road to the fertility clinic (ORM) . This visit had many purposes, 1st they needed to check my Estrogen levels. For a month now I have been wearing a sticker like patch that I place on my hips, stomach, and back side, these patches supply extra Estrogen to my body. This Estrogen is helping my uterus thicken so that I am ready to carry this baby(ies). My levels were 6 times as high as they were when I 1st started these patches so they were very pleased to see that my body reacted so well. After checking my levels I met the doctor, of course...I met him while I was half naked and my legs up in stirrups but after having 2 kids of my own I am pretty used to these kinds of things. He wasted no time, and began the "Mock Transfer" and to my surprise it was painless and quick. He had a device that looked a lot like a syringe but instead of a needle it was laced with a tube (a catheter) this tube is poked into my uterus via cervix. Since this was a test, there was no actual embryo transfer, this was a trail to make sure that the path was open and easy to access. It worked well, and they didn't see any problems. After the "mock transfer" we went over any questions I had, and he also explained to me the possibility of multiple babies. There is a 1 in 3 chance both embryos develop....this scared me and made me happy at the same time. As you all know, 1 man will fertilize 1 egg and the other man will fertilize the 2nd egg and since I love these men, its hard to imagine making 1 of their dreams come true and disappointing the other(this is something I have been struggling with). After hearing 1 in 3 times both eggs develop a weight was slightly lifted, and I am seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty.
Once we spoke with the doctor we spoke to the nurse who is working our case. She gave us about a 45 minute lesson and lecture on what will be happening in the next few months, most of what she said doesn't apply to me right now so it was very difficult to follow. Bare with me as I do my best to explain.
During this process I will be on a number of medications:
Desogen: birth control pills
Lupron: an injection in my stomach that suppresses ovulation
Progestrone: an injection on my back side that prepares my uterine lining for the implantation
Medrol: a steriod tablet that I will take to suppress the autoimmune system from interfering with the embryo.
Climara: patches containing estrogen which helps maintain an early pregnancy
Doxycycle: an antibiotic that clears any possible injection prior to treatment.
Right now I am wearing 2 Climara patches and taking Progestrone. I am on my 3rd pill of Progestrone and on my 7th pill I will start my period. On the 3rd day of my period I will start my Desogen (Birth Control) I will continue the birth control for a month. all this is preparing my body to have the same menstrual cycle as the egg donor. After a month I will then begin the 2 injections, plus the birth control , prenatal vitamins, and a baby aspirin (to thin my blood). If you know me on a personal level; you all know that I am cringing at the thought of shots, let alone giving myself or having Chris (2 inexperienced people) give them to me. I am very nervous about this part of the treatment but my heart is in this and I am going to do whatever it is I need to do to give these wonderful men the babies they yearn for!
Once I start on all the medicines, and it becomes more clear to me what I am doing and what I am to expect I will write more. I am getting so excited to finally progress as a surrogate, it is very real now and the farther I go the more anxious we all get. I am so thankful to my wonderful husband, Ruby and Hazel and all my family who has helped while we traveled...I look forward to our 7 day trip to Portland because Chris and I will not travel alone, we will be taking the girls, and we will get to visit with the 2 men we are working with once again (Plus for the 1st time in over 2 years I get 2 full days of bed rest WOOHOOO!). That next, and last visit to Portland cant get here soon enough, so keep reading the Blog as I count down the months until the big moment!
Thank you all for hanging in there, and continuing to read my blog even while it is sporadic! You keep amazing me! Thank again, and have a terrific end of the week!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
I hope you all had a wonderful and safe 4th of July weekend. Like many of you, our family was extremely busy with cookouts, fireworks, friends, and family. We also got to celebrate another special day over the long weekend...Chris turned 28! The girls and I were so excited to give him his gifts (tickets to the Bob and Tom Comedy tour and the Steve Martin CD) and enjoy the ice cream cake (Xtreme Chocolate) we picked out. Over all, the past 3 days have been so much fun, and like you I was sad to say goodbye...Tuesdays here, and its back to reality!
Surrogate life has became very confusing and a little stressful. I have been given so much information and so much paper work that it has become hard to follow. The men we are working with picked a Reproductive Clinic in Portland, OR (because of its high success rate) so most information is given to me via email or snail mail and is written in medical terms making it hard to understand. We are on a very strict time schedule and a lot of testing needs to occur before we can move forward, which makes everything a bit frustrating for everyone involved. We are doing our very best to move quickly through these medical exams so that we able to be pregnant sooner rather then later.
I have been cleared and given the "Go Ahead" by my OB/GYN, and he seems very excited to be the doctor delivering this baby(ies). He has delivered babies through a surrogate before so I felt very comfortable talking to him about the process this far as well as what to expect after the baby is delivered. Like most of you, he was a bit shocked at the fact that the couple I am carrying for are gay men and he was more shocked that both men would be fertilizing 1 egg each. After digesting for a minute, and grasping all the facts thrown at him he seemed eager to give me his blessing and assure me that his job is bringing babies into this world and that is just what he intends on doing!
I have now completed my annual exam (pap test and breast exam), my physical, and all of my paper work. Blood work is next, Chris and I both will be tested for a number of things before we are able to move forward. These are standard blood test, and I have had them all before so I am not worried about anything but the needle itself!
While I wait on those records and results to be sent to the Reproductive Clinic I will anxiously await the next step. This time is very critical to the surrogacy process, and very tricky. I have to get my ovulation schedule on the same track as the egg donor which requires medicine. The medicine has to be strictly monitor so I will be watched by a clinic in Indianapolis due to the distance between me and Portland, OR.
Soon I will receive an estrogen patch which is a hormone treatment given to me via skin patch. This patch will control my ovulation, giving the clinic better knowledge of my schedule. Once I wear the patch and start my menstrual cycle I will call the Portland Clinic and set up our 1st trip there. We will only be there for 1 day, at which time they will do a "Mock Medical Treatment" meaning they will do an ultra sound on my ovaries to make sure I am in fact ovulating, then they will do the implantation treatment without the baby and egg just to make sure my body reacts the way it should and so I am familiar with the treatment. This should take place this month or beginning of August.
If all goes well we will start the actual hormone treatment which Chris will get the pleasure of administering. I will say "Goodbye" to the estrogen patch and "Hello" to estrogen and progesterone injections. these injections will synchronize my menstrual cycle with the egg donor's cycle which optimizes the chance of pregnancy.
I am excited to move forward, and even more excited to have all these tests and forms out of the way. Everything is going wonderfully and we are on track to be pregnant in September, but until then I will be sure to keep everyone up to date!
If you have any questions about any of the above information please let me know and I will do my best to help you follow, it has been a challenge for me to process all the information given so I hope I can be of assistance.
Have a fabulous evening and please share my site with anyone who might be interested!
Enjoy your Hump Day!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Today things changed, and I can't describe to you the wonderful bond we established with these men. They exceeded every expectation, and blew us away with their kind words and appreciation. I know I have said it before, but again, now more then ever I am excited and so eager to begin this process. I can answer the question "How are you going to give this child away?" with ease. I am not giving this child away. I am simply delivering it to its home-to the place this child was meant to live and be loved.
Let me explain this fantastic day to you and all the emotions that came with it.
First we planned on meeting them at the zoo. All morning I was a nervous wreck and was so worried there would be a language barrier (since they are from France). When we arrived, they were there anxiously waiting for us, and honestly, I felt like passing out! After our introduction I calmed down within a few short minutes and felt much more comfortable. We walked around the zoo, and they seemed to really enjoy watching Ruby explain to us the animals we were about to see. We mostly kept conversation simple-about the animals, the girls, American culture, French culture...very light. Ruby quickly warmed up and rode on their shoulders, let them pick her up to see the hidden animals, and held their hands while walking. Watching them interact with the girls was pleasant and very reassuring. I could picture them holding their own child’s hand, piggybacking him/her and conversing as only a parent of a small babbling child could. I knew in those moments these men were going to be caring parents-great parents!
After strolling around the zoo, playing in the water park, and enjoying a lot of small talk, we decided to grab a bite to eat. We left the girls with my sister (who was kind enough to come to the zoo to pick the girls up) and headed to PF Chang’s. At this point, we knew quite a bit about one another-more than I thought was possible in such a short amount of time. Chris and I ordered a table full of food, and as we ate we discussed surrogacy, life styles, families, friends, pets-everything under the sun. They made us feel completely comfortable asking about their sexuality and how it would effect raising a child as well as how they planned to explain my role to the child as it grew up. We were at first relieved and then blown away with their consistently perfect thoughts on becoming parents. Chris and I were so incredibly happy to find that they too hope that we can continue to be a part of their lives after we carry this baby for them. We all hope to share visits, send letters, Skype , and do so much more just to keep in touch and watch the baby grow into an adult, as we would with any other child in our family.
After dinner we did some shopping around Circle Center (side note: Levi's in France = $150. YIKES!) This is where Chris and I split up and had a more one on one conversation with each man. Chris got the question, "You are so young; why would you let your wife do this for some other man?" Chris of course said it was not a easy decision for him to make. He told them that I would do it free of charge if he would let me, but due to risks and effort involved Chris would insist on payment for doing this. He told them this is something I really want to do, and since he supports me and loves me, he is on board and excited to be a part of this. While I was spending time with the other man, I received praise for my willingness and acceptance. I explained that my life would not be complete without our girls and that it is because of the love I have for Ruby and Hazel that I am willing to do this for them. Everyone deserves the happiness that my kids bring to me.
We found out so much more about surrogacy from both sides of the process today than we had previously known. Today I gained much more perspective on what I will be going through in a few short months. Let me run down the procedure and information:
-This week I will get physicals, complete blood work, and meet with my OB/GYN
-Shortly thereafter, I will go to a fertility clinic here and get some hormone shots
-24-36 hours after taking the shots, Chris and I will fly to Portland to have a few more tests run including an ultrasound on my ovaries and a mock transfer (to prepare the doctors for the actual transfer)
-After that we will wait for the egg donor to have a regular cycle. Once she does, I will again get the shots, and we will travel back to Portland for the transfer.
We also discussed the costs of all this, the roles each person will play, and the time frame in which this will happen. One tidbit of information that surprised us both was how they chose the paternity of baby. They did not choose one or the other-they chose both! It’s going to work like this: there will be 2 embryos implanted, one fertilized by one man and one fertilized by the other! It is overwhelmingly weird to me, holding 2 different men’s babies (and neither of them is my husband) -craziness but very exciting. The odds of success at the clinic we are using are very high, so we are now prepared to carry two babies. (The likelihood of success is about 80% per embryo. That gives us about a 95% chance that at least one embryo will take and about a 40% chance that I will carry two babies.)
After an eventful and very hot, muggy day spent with these guys Chris and I were saddened to leave them. They gave us a hug goodbye, and Chris said the expressions on their faces were the same as the expression he had for me when I got pregnant with Ruby and Hazel-love and admiration. I can honestly say those feelings are mutual. I really admire these men and what they are willing to do to experience parenthood. They already have jeopardized their jobs (by taking off to travel so much) and put their normal routines on hold to fly to a foreign country just for a day to meet me and my family! I can say that today was the start of a friendship and an unbreakable bond of which I couldn't be happier to be a part. I look forward to seeing them in Portland soon and calling them the second we find out the egg took to my body to tell them that they are expecting!!!
Thank you all so much for you words of encouragement. Today went fabulously and your messages, texts, and calls helped tremendously! I was very pleased to tell this couple about all the love and support my friends and family have shown us, and they were as blown away by all of you as I am!
I cannot wait to update you all on what’s to come. I should hear from the clinic in Portland very soon. I will update you with the date we plan on traveling and what is to be expected, so stay tuned! Thanks again, you guys really ROCK!
Monday, June 21, 2010
I hope everyone had a great Father's Day weekend, and drank lots of water because boy, was it HOT! We got to visit with our families, and of course we spent time showing Chris what a terrific daddy he has been. Ruby woke up, ran to the bathroom where Chris was showering, opened the curtain and said "Happy Fodders Day Daddy, we take you to brekest?" So Chris got a kick out of that, and I think he enjoyed a morning out with me and the girls!
Well on to the BIG news! We get to meet the couple THIS WEEK! Time has been passing quickly due to all the emails we are writing and receiving. Over the past few weeks we have really gotten to know these men, understand these men, and care for these men. We couldn't be more excited about taking this next step, and meeting them in person.
We have a fun and very full day planned, and look forward to showing them Indianapolis at its best so lets hope for nice weather. I will update everyone at the end of the week to let you all know how it went, but I am positive it will go wonderfully and we will all anxiously await the next step together....the implantation!!!
Thanks again for your understanding, love, and support. I can't wait to share our many upcoming adventures with all of you.
Have a fabulous week, Here's to hoping it flies by!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
About 4 years ago, Chris and I went on our Honeymoon to Paris, London, and Oxford. My favorite part of our trip was the evening we spent in Paris, France. We bought a chocolate crepe and a bottle of wine and sat across the street from the Eiffel Tower in a near park. Chris sat there and I laid on his lap. We drank our wine, and ate our crepe just gazing at the beautiful tower while it displayed the most spectacular light show. I wondered if we would ever enjoy France again, little did I know we would...and this time France is coming to us! The 2 gentleman I will be a surrogate for have officially booked their flight and will be here in a few short weeks!
I just received another email from them today, and it turns out that my response to their 1st email got mixed up with SPAM. They contacted the lawyer's office this morning to see if there was a reason they never heard back from me, and shortly after, we figured out what the problem was and fixed it! Now, we have an open line of communication and look forward to emailing back and forth until the end of June when we get to carry on our conversations in person.
they will only get to visit for a few hours, and more then likely we will all meet in Indianapolis, so being the "planner" I am, I have been running through a million ideas as to what we should do. I have divide the day into 2 parts, 1 being introducing Ruby and Hazel to the couple, 2 being dinner without the girls so that the 4 of us can discuss everything that needs discussed. Right now the plan is to spend a few hours at the zoo, where the girls are comfortable and free to run around, then we would drop the girls off and head to dinner and maybe a stroll downtown...but feel free to give me some ideas and advice!
Well, everyone...Things are going to slow down for the next couple of weeks/months. I am preparing my body to become pregnant and until all the preparation is done we are kind of at a stand-still. I will keep everyone posted on anything new or exciting that takes place so please stay tuned!
a bientot (see you soon)
-I should be hearing from the fertilization clinic in Portland very soon about what labs and blood work I will need to have done before the IVF process. I will let you know what test will need to happen in case any of you are interested in becoming a surrogate.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I received an email from the law office handling our surrogacy asking premission to give my personal email address to the couple we have been paired with. It took me about 3 seconds to reply with an excited, "YES!" I checked my email every hour just waiting and hoping to hear from them sooner rahter than later. Finally, the message I was waiting for came!
I was actually in the car driving home from the zoo with my sister-in-law, nephew, Ruby, and Hazel when I got the email. Not being able to read it right away was making me crazy... so I had my sister-in-law read it to me:)
Since I had already been given thier autobiography, I already knew thier names, ages, where they worked, where they lived, where they grew up, and thier backgrounds and families, but it was so great to hear it all again, especially coming from them personally. Immediately, I felt a connection. My heart was so warmed by thier apperecation, and I could tell how much this all meant to them. I feel now-more than ever-that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing; this is the "difference" I want to make!
Needless to say, I wrote back as soon as I got home and I would like to share an excerpt from my letter:
"...Also I wanted to let you guys know, that when I signed up to become a surrogate, Ideally I wanted to be paired with a gay couple. Chris and I are very open minded and as a straight couple there isn't much we can do to help the rights of people who arent given the equallity they deserve. In a way, I feel as though I am doing what I can to help give you an opportunity that someone else has taken away. I love being a mother. My kids have made me the person I always dreamed of being. Each day I learn something from them, I smile when they smile, and I almost cry when they laugh because its just the most overwhelmingly beautiful sound. I look forward to helping you have a child of your own, so the 2 of you can enjoy those same things..."
So, for those of you who didn't already know (or didn't just figure it out), Chris and I will be carrying a baby for a homosexual couple from France*. Although we are from a small town, we do not have small minds, and we firmly believe in equal rights and opportunities for every deserving person no matter color, gender, sexual orientation, etc. Also, we have been pleasantly surprised to find that everyone we have talked to has shared the same opinion. It's good to know that we have such great friends and family.
I am more than willing to answer any question concerning our decsion. Please know that Chris and I have talked about this extensively amoung ourselves and with our family and know we are doing a great thing-the right thing-and we are so excited to be a part of this!
We have scheduled our initial meeting with the couple. They will be in the States at the end of June to spend some time with us and get to know me, Chris, and the girls on a more personal level. That day can't get here soon enough for all invovled, but when it does I will fill you all in on how it all goes.
Thanks again for your love and support. You guys realy amaze me!
*Because the men are from France, they will only visit in June before the implantation, during the implantation, and during and after the delivery. We will keep in contact through phone calls and emails. In France surrogacy is completely forbidden and a gay couple cannot adopt. In order to make this legal, it will all take place here. Since one of the men will be the biological father, they will be able to raise the child as a couple, giving the other man rights to the child if something were to happen to the biological father.
Monday, May 31, 2010
I have been overwhelmed by your messages and comments. Thank you all for your support and kind words.
On the appilcation I answered the question, "Do your family and friends support your decsion to become a surrogate mother?" Of course, I answered yes. In general, my family supports me and the choices I make, but there was definately some uncertainty. Knowing now that I have not only the support of my family but also the support of friends and peers reassures me of every choice made throughout this process.
Having a great support system is so very important but difficult at the same time. I am fully aware that I am not doing this alone, which means that all of you are a huge part of this. My husband will be there when I get sick or there to feel my belly as this baby kicks. My family will be there to watch my girls if I need to make a run to the hospital, go to doctors appointments, or just take a nap. My friends will grab me whatever it is I'm craving on thier way to visit and go with me to shop for maternity clothes. Therefore, they all will be very much invested in this pregnancy. I know my family and friends will be there for us upon delievery of the baby, and I know it will be hard for them to see me laying in a hospital bed with no baby in my arms and no baby to pass around and show off. However, I know now more then ever that I have their (your) support.
Thank you all so much. Having you stand behind me just because you love me has made a whole world of difference. Know that I am doing this to give this couple the joy and love I have been given, and that I know exactly what I am doing. I am in a very positive state of mind and look forward to carring this baby for 9 months, going through labor and delivery, and handing him/her over to its smiling patient parnets.
If you ever need support, (love, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or a pat on the back) I hope you all know Chris, Ruby, Hazel and I will be here ready to give you the attention you have given us!
Friday, May 28, 2010
I am a 25 year old wife and stay-at-home mother of 2 (daughters, Ruby-2 Hazel-1). My family and I live in a small town in Putnam County Indiana where we enjoy the simple things life has to offer. However, after long talks and 2 years worth of research we have decided to throw the "simple life" out the door in exchange for a life changing adventure that we are sure will be nothing less than rewarding.
Last year I applied to become a Surrogate Mother*. I was shortly approved, and my application became a viewable profile. Two months ago in March, my profile was reviewed by a couple unable to naturally have a child, and they chose me to be their surrogate.
My husband Chris and I are so excited to go through this process, and we couldn't be happier to help this couple experience parenthood. Our two beautiful daughters have given an entirely new meaning to our lives, and to think that we will be giving a loving couple that same blessing is unbelievably humbling. We know that this will be life changing for them and us, and we are thrilled to be apart of something so amazing!
Now, I am preparing my body to become pregnant, so I have stopped taking birth control and started taking prenatal vitamins and charting my body temperature to monitor my ovulation. I will do this for 3 months. During this 3 months my family and I will get the opportunity to meet the couple and discuss all things regarding the pregnancy, delivery, and post delivery.
This blog is aimed toward my family, friends and people who are interested in surrogacy for any reason. I hope that sharing my experience keeps everyone close to me informed and provides anyone else who is interested with some insights into surrogacy that could only be discovered by considering the the words of someone going through the process. I will be blogging on the actual pregnancy process, my emotional state, the relationship I have with the couple, as well as any and all other potentially worthwhile thoughts I have about being a surrogate mother, a wife, and biological mother of two. I am not a lawyer, a doctor, a psychiatrist or professional in any way, so these accounts are strictly my personal opinions, thoughts, and emotions. Through the words I share, I hope to provide an open window to our adventure into surrogate motherhood.
I look forward to sharing so much more with you all, so feel free to ask questions regarding my experiences thus far. I am more than willing to do my best to answer as quickly as possible.
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend and be safe!
*Surrogate Mother: A woman who agrees to become pregnant and deliver a child for a contracted party. She may be the child's genetic mother or *gestational carrier.
Note: I will be acting as a gestational carrier which means I will become pregnant via IVF (In Vitro Fertilization using an egg given by an egg donor and sperm given by the biological father). This child will not have any of my or my husband's DNA. I am acting as the "oven" or "babysitter" or 9 months, at which time I will sign over all legal rights of the child to the couple.
Milestones completed to date:
-Accepted by the surrogacy agency.
-Chosen by a prospective couple.
-Completed psychological evaluation with my husband.
-Met with lawyer from surrogacy agency. (The lawyer explained all of the legal documentation, described the overall process, and answered our questions on the process.)
- Meeting the future parents.