Hey Everyone,
After a 5 day vacation I can honestly say it's good to be back home again in Indiana...and on flat ground. I think being in the mountains and being in much higher altitude I experienced "morning sickness" like never before and I must admit...it was miserable! To top it off both of my daughters were sick with a sinus infection.
It wasn't all bad though, I got the pleasure of being surrounded by some of the most fantastic supportive understanding people, it proved once again that I truly do have the best friends ( who I owe big time).
Also on this vacation my heart was warmed like I never knew possible. Ruby reminded me in the most surreal way why I'm am doing this surrogacy...this is why I blog today, to share the inspirational conversation I had with my brilliant 3 year old. So let me set the scene for those who weren't there.
While on vacation we met a terrific couple...2 women who are raising two children together. This strikes my interest on many levels, one being The men we are working with will be in a similar situation, and this gave me a look into the future...and I loved what I saw. 2 supportive moms, caring and loving their children, 2 striving kids who showed deep care and love toward both moms...I'm sure this family goes through trials and tribulations but their high spirits and and pure happiness was very inspiring and very rewarding to see.
After meeting this couple my 3 year old Ruby came up to me and sat on my lap. She asked who these women were. I told her they were related to her little friend. "They are "noah's" aunts." I said "Ruby, you know how Dru is your Aunt? Well these women are "noah's" aunts...he has 2, isn't that so neat?" Ruby proceeded to shock me by comparing these women to the men we are surrogating for. She said "Mommy, they are like are friends in France!"
Knowing her understanding of the situation floored me. Growing up I knew gay couples but as many of you can agree it was taboo, and not talked about. I grew up with a family who taught me acceptance, and knowing that through this surrogacy I have taught my children the same gives me an overwhelmingly amount of pride! Not only does Ruby accept and understand that love is and can be experienced by same sex couples but here in 2011 it is not taboo! It's a subject we talk about openly and daily in our house hold and I am so proud to say that in the Cummings house even at the young age of 3 we promote equal rights and love for all!
Through this surrogacy I have learned so many things from so many different people and it is so humbling to know that while I learn, my kids learn. This short conversation with my daughter gave me once again the reassurance that this is what I was meant to be doing. I hope that reading this sparks conversation in your house, I hope it gives you a reason to talk about acceptance an equal rights to your children, no matter their age. We are our children's teachers...let's teach them LOVE!
(Ruby is proof it's never to early to start this important conversation)
Well, I hope you all have a fantastic Hump Day, until I write again...stay safe!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Baby A...mazing
Hey Everyone,
A weight has been lifted, both my family and the couples family can breath easy knowing both babies GIRLS are in perfect health!
These past few days have been emotionally straining on everyone involved. A wave of feelings have come, gone and come again. I have felt sadness, guilt, hope, happiness, relief, and frustration among other emotions I can't quite explain. Through everything this pregnancy has brought I have never questioned my decision to be a surrogate. I would like to share an email written by the couple so you get a feel for the love we share for one another....so you fully understand why, through the hardship this is the most rewarding experience.
Alexis,
We are really sorry about all that bad things and stress you have experienced.
The most important thing is that you, Chris and the girls are fine. Whatever happens you 've done more than your best, more than any other woman would have done if she were in your place.
You were right : at the beginning we chose you because you had 2 successful pregnancies, we didn't know you, and it was so strange to chose someone you don't know for something so important. Then we discovered the person you are ... an incredible person, you are better than anything we could have dreamed of. The more we have gotten to know you, the more we realize how lucky we are to have the chance to know you. So once again don't feel bad for us, whatever happen happens and there's nothing you could have done better.
You've been through so many bad things, all to give us the chance to be parents : needles, bad exams, pain... we owe you so much, more than anything we could give you back.
We are sorry too, for the girls and Chris, it's so hard for them, it must be so painful for your 2 lovely girls to see their mom sick and so stressed. Sometimes we consider ourselves as really selfish to ask you and your family for so much, to put through such a hard pregnancy.
Tonight I've prayed for baby A, and i pray for you too. I haven't prayed for 22 years, when i was 14 I lost a friend in a car accident and I thought god couldn't exist..to take such a young girl. Tonight I prayed my way, I'm not sure god exists, but I asked him to save that little baby... if the way you pray matters ... I'm not sure it will be effective, but I did it with all my heart and soul....
That is just a SHORT portion of an email that possibly changed my life. These 2 men are 2 of the most amazing, loving people I have had the pleasure of knowing...they are the reason I'm doing this, they are the reason after having my head in a toilet all day I go to bed feeling good. This has taken an emotional and physical toll on me and my family and I can tell everyone right now...it's been worth it!
I really hope everyone who reads this feels the love that pours from these men...
Also thank you, thanks for your help, comments, text, calls and concerns, it's the most humbling feeling to know you care so much. Keep praying for a fast recovery. Already the hematoma is down 3 cm and the placenta is reattaching. I can't say thank you enough, your support has made this process that much more enjoyable! I love you!
Now, just what the doctor ordered..a vacation! Enjoy the Indiana snow and I will be enjoying the snow while relaxing in a cabin in the smokey mountains! Stay safe through this horrible weather and stay tuned to "our journey through surrogacy" there's much more to come!
A weight has been lifted, both my family and the couples family can breath easy knowing both babies GIRLS are in perfect health!
These past few days have been emotionally straining on everyone involved. A wave of feelings have come, gone and come again. I have felt sadness, guilt, hope, happiness, relief, and frustration among other emotions I can't quite explain. Through everything this pregnancy has brought I have never questioned my decision to be a surrogate. I would like to share an email written by the couple so you get a feel for the love we share for one another....so you fully understand why, through the hardship this is the most rewarding experience.
Alexis,
We are really sorry about all that bad things and stress you have experienced.
The most important thing is that you, Chris and the girls are fine. Whatever happens you 've done more than your best, more than any other woman would have done if she were in your place.
You were right : at the beginning we chose you because you had 2 successful pregnancies, we didn't know you, and it was so strange to chose someone you don't know for something so important. Then we discovered the person you are ... an incredible person, you are better than anything we could have dreamed of. The more we have gotten to know you, the more we realize how lucky we are to have the chance to know you. So once again don't feel bad for us, whatever happen happens and there's nothing you could have done better.
You've been through so many bad things, all to give us the chance to be parents : needles, bad exams, pain... we owe you so much, more than anything we could give you back.
We are sorry too, for the girls and Chris, it's so hard for them, it must be so painful for your 2 lovely girls to see their mom sick and so stressed. Sometimes we consider ourselves as really selfish to ask you and your family for so much, to put through such a hard pregnancy.
Tonight I've prayed for baby A, and i pray for you too. I haven't prayed for 22 years, when i was 14 I lost a friend in a car accident and I thought god couldn't exist..to take such a young girl. Tonight I prayed my way, I'm not sure god exists, but I asked him to save that little baby... if the way you pray matters ... I'm not sure it will be effective, but I did it with all my heart and soul....
That is just a SHORT portion of an email that possibly changed my life. These 2 men are 2 of the most amazing, loving people I have had the pleasure of knowing...they are the reason I'm doing this, they are the reason after having my head in a toilet all day I go to bed feeling good. This has taken an emotional and physical toll on me and my family and I can tell everyone right now...it's been worth it!
I really hope everyone who reads this feels the love that pours from these men...
Also thank you, thanks for your help, comments, text, calls and concerns, it's the most humbling feeling to know you care so much. Keep praying for a fast recovery. Already the hematoma is down 3 cm and the placenta is reattaching. I can't say thank you enough, your support has made this process that much more enjoyable! I love you!
Now, just what the doctor ordered..a vacation! Enjoy the Indiana snow and I will be enjoying the snow while relaxing in a cabin in the smokey mountains! Stay safe through this horrible weather and stay tuned to "our journey through surrogacy" there's much more to come!
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