Saturday, June 26, 2010


Hey Everyone,

Today things changed, and I can't describe to you the wonderful bond we established with these men. They exceeded every expectation, and blew us away with their kind words and appreciation. I know I have said it before, but again, now more then ever I am excited and so eager to begin this process. I can answer the question "How are you going to give this child away?" with ease. I am not giving this child away. I am simply delivering it to its home-to the place this child was meant to live and be loved.

Let me explain this fantastic day to you and all the emotions that came with it.

First we planned on meeting them at the zoo. All morning I was a nervous wreck and was so worried there would be a language barrier (since they are from France). When we arrived, they were there anxiously waiting for us, and honestly, I felt like passing out! After our introduction I calmed down within a few short minutes and felt much more comfortable. We walked around the zoo, and they seemed to really enjoy watching Ruby explain to us the animals we were about to see. We mostly kept conversation simple-about the animals, the girls, American culture, French culture...very light. Ruby quickly warmed up and rode on their shoulders, let them pick her up to see the hidden animals, and held their hands while walking. Watching them interact with the girls was pleasant and very reassuring. I could picture them holding their own child’s hand, piggybacking him/her and conversing as only a parent of a small babbling child could. I knew in those moments these men were going to be caring parents-great parents!

After strolling around the zoo, playing in the water park, and enjoying a lot of small talk, we decided to grab a bite to eat. We left the girls with my sister (who was kind enough to come to the zoo to pick the girls up) and headed to PF Chang’s. At this point, we knew quite a bit about one another-more than I thought was possible in such a short amount of time. Chris and I ordered a table full of food, and as we ate we discussed surrogacy, life styles, families, friends, pets-everything under the sun. They made us feel completely comfortable asking about their sexuality and how it would effect raising a child as well as how they planned to explain my role to the child as it grew up. We were at first relieved and then blown away with their consistently perfect thoughts on becoming parents. Chris and I were so incredibly happy to find that they too hope that we can continue to be a part of their lives after we carry this baby for them. We all hope to share visits, send letters, Skype , and do so much more just to keep in touch and watch the baby grow into an adult, as we would with any other child in our family.

After dinner we did some shopping around Circle Center (side note: Levi's in France = $150. YIKES!) This is where Chris and I split up and had a more one on one conversation with each man. Chris got the question, "You are so young; why would you let your wife do this for some other man?" Chris of course said it was not a easy decision for him to make. He told them that I would do it free of charge if he would let me, but due to risks and effort involved Chris would insist on payment for doing this. He told them this is something I really want to do, and since he supports me and loves me, he is on board and excited to be a part of this. While I was spending time with the other man, I received praise for my willingness and acceptance. I explained that my life would not be complete without our girls and that it is because of the love I have for Ruby and Hazel that I am willing to do this for them. Everyone deserves the happiness that my kids bring to me.

We found out so much more about surrogacy from both sides of the process today than we had previously known. Today I gained much more perspective on what I will be going through in a few short months. Let me run down the procedure and information:
-This week I will get physicals, complete blood work, and meet with my OB/GYN
-Shortly thereafter, I will go to a fertility clinic here and get some hormone shots
-24-36 hours after taking the shots, Chris and I will fly to Portland to have a few more tests run including an ultrasound on my ovaries and a mock transfer (to prepare the doctors for the actual transfer)
-After that we will wait for the egg donor to have a regular cycle. Once she does, I will again get the shots, and we will travel back to Portland for the transfer.

We also discussed the costs of all this, the roles each person will play, and the time frame in which this will happen. One tidbit of information that surprised us both was how they chose the paternity of baby. They did not choose one or the other-they chose both! It’s going to work like this: there will be 2 embryos implanted, one fertilized by one man and one fertilized by the other! It is overwhelmingly weird to me, holding 2 different men’s babies (and neither of them is my husband) -craziness but very exciting. The odds of success at the clinic we are using are very high, so we are now prepared to carry two babies. (The likelihood of success is about 80% per embryo. That gives us about a 95% chance that at least one embryo will take and about a 40% chance that I will carry two babies.)

After an eventful and very hot, muggy day spent with these guys Chris and I were saddened to leave them. They gave us a hug goodbye, and Chris said the expressions on their faces were the same as the expression he had for me when I got pregnant with Ruby and Hazel-love and admiration. I can honestly say those feelings are mutual. I really admire these men and what they are willing to do to experience parenthood. They already have jeopardized their jobs (by taking off to travel so much) and put their normal routines on hold to fly to a foreign country just for a day to meet me and my family! I can say that today was the start of a friendship and an unbreakable bond of which I couldn't be happier to be a part. I look forward to seeing them in Portland soon and calling them the second we find out the egg took to my body to tell them that they are expecting!!!

Thank you all so much for you words of encouragement. Today went fabulously and your messages, texts, and calls helped tremendously! I was very pleased to tell this couple about all the love and support my friends and family have shown us, and they were as blown away by all of you as I am!

I cannot wait to update you all on what’s to come. I should hear from the clinic in Portland very soon. I will update you with the date we plan on traveling and what is to be expected, so stay tuned! Thanks again, you guys really ROCK!

Monday, June 21, 2010

It's almost that time!

Hey Everyone,

I hope everyone had a great Father's Day weekend, and drank lots of water because boy, was it HOT! We got to visit with our families, and of course we spent time showing Chris what a terrific daddy he has been. Ruby woke up, ran to the bathroom where Chris was showering, opened the curtain and said "Happy Fodders Day Daddy, we take you to brekest?" So Chris got a kick out of that, and I think he enjoyed a morning out with me and the girls!

Well on to the BIG news! We get to meet the couple THIS WEEK! Time has been passing quickly due to all the emails we are writing and receiving. Over the past few weeks we have really gotten to know these men, understand these men, and care for these men. We couldn't be more excited about taking this next step, and meeting them in person.

We have a fun and very full day planned, and look forward to showing them Indianapolis at its best so lets hope for nice weather. I will update everyone at the end of the week to let you all know how it went, but I am positive it will go wonderfully and we will all anxiously await the next step together....the implantation!!!

Thanks again for your understanding, love, and support. I can't wait to share our many upcoming adventures with all of you.

Have a fabulous week, Here's to hoping it flies by!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Flights are booked!

Hey Everyone,

About 4 years ago, Chris and I went on our Honeymoon to Paris, London, and Oxford. My favorite part of our trip was the evening we spent in Paris, France. We bought a chocolate crepe and a bottle of wine and sat across the street from the Eiffel Tower in a near park. Chris sat there and I laid on his lap. We drank our wine, and ate our crepe just gazing at the beautiful tower while it displayed the most spectacular light show. I wondered if we would ever enjoy France again, little did I know we would...and this time France is coming to us! The 2 gentleman I will be a surrogate for have officially booked their flight and will be here in a few short weeks!

I just received another email from them today, and it turns out that my response to their 1st email got mixed up with SPAM. They contacted the lawyer's office this morning to see if there was a reason they never heard back from me, and shortly after, we figured out what the problem was and fixed it! Now, we have an open line of communication and look forward to emailing back and forth until the end of June when we get to carry on our conversations in person.

they will only get to visit for a few hours, and more then likely we will all meet in Indianapolis, so being the "planner" I am, I have been running through a million ideas as to what we should do. I have divide the day into 2 parts, 1 being introducing Ruby and Hazel to the couple, 2 being dinner without the girls so that the 4 of us can discuss everything that needs discussed. Right now the plan is to spend a few hours at the zoo, where the girls are comfortable and free to run around, then we would drop the girls off and head to dinner and maybe a stroll downtown...but feel free to give me some ideas and advice!

Well, everyone...Things are going to slow down for the next couple of weeks/months. I am preparing my body to become pregnant and until all the preparation is done we are kind of at a stand-still. I will keep everyone posted on anything new or exciting that takes place so please stay tuned!

a bientot (see you soon)


-I should be hearing from the fertilization clinic in Portland very soon about what labs and blood work I will need to have done before the IVF process. I will let you know what test will need to happen in case any of you are interested in becoming a surrogate.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

We are in contact!!

Hey Everyone,

I received an email from the law office handling our surrogacy asking premission to give my personal email address to the couple we have been paired with. It took me about 3 seconds to reply with an excited, "YES!" I checked my email every hour just waiting and hoping to hear from them sooner rahter than later. Finally, the message I was waiting for came!

I was actually in the car driving home from the zoo with my sister-in-law, nephew, Ruby, and Hazel when I got the email. Not being able to read it right away was making me crazy... so I had my sister-in-law read it to me:)

Since I had already been given thier autobiography, I already knew thier names, ages, where they worked, where they lived, where they grew up, and thier backgrounds and families, but it was so great to hear it all again, especially coming from them personally. Immediately, I felt a connection. My heart was so warmed by thier apperecation, and I could tell how much this all meant to them. I feel now-more than ever-that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing; this is the "difference" I want to make!

Needless to say, I wrote back as soon as I got home and I would like to share an excerpt from my letter:

"...Also I wanted to let you guys know, that when I signed up to become a surrogate, Ideally I wanted to be paired with a gay couple. Chris and I are very open minded and as a straight couple there isn't much we can do to help the rights of people who arent given the equallity they deserve. In a way, I feel as though I am doing what I can to help give you an opportunity that someone else has taken away. I love being a mother. My kids have made me the person I always dreamed of being. Each day I learn something from them, I smile when they smile, and I almost cry when they laugh because its just the most overwhelmingly beautiful sound. I look forward to helping you have a child of your own, so the 2 of you can enjoy those same things..."

So, for those of you who didn't already know (or didn't just figure it out), Chris and I will be carrying a baby for a homosexual couple from France*. Although we are from a small town, we do not have small minds, and we firmly believe in equal rights and opportunities for every deserving person no matter color, gender, sexual orientation, etc. Also, we have been pleasantly surprised to find that everyone we have talked to has shared the same opinion. It's good to know that we have such great friends and family.

I am more than willing to answer any question concerning our decsion. Please know that Chris and I have talked about this extensively amoung ourselves and with our family and know we are doing a great thing-the right thing-and we are so excited to be a part of this!

We have scheduled our initial meeting with the couple. They will be in the States at the end of June to spend some time with us and get to know me, Chris, and the girls on a more personal level. That day can't get here soon enough for all invovled, but when it does I will fill you all in on how it all goes.

Thanks again for your love and support. You guys realy amaze me!


*Because the men are from France, they will only visit in June before the implantation, during the implantation, and during and after the delivery. We will keep in contact through phone calls and emails. In France surrogacy is completely forbidden and a gay couple cannot adopt. In order to make this legal, it will all take place here. Since one of the men will be the biological father, they will be able to raise the child as a couple, giving the other man rights to the child if something were to happen to the biological father.