After a long stressful night of no sleep, Friday June 24th seemed to fly by. From the time we arrived at the hospital the hands on the clock were spinning.
Worry and fear rushed through me...luckily I was surrounded by love and support. My husband, my best friend, my aunt (who called every family member to keep them posted) my cousins, and of course the Daddies to be. It was nice having the room full of chatter because it helped silence the very loud voice in my head shouting "you can't do this, its going to hurt, how can you give these babies up?"
Soon nurses bustled in and out, sign this, sign that, IV therapy will be up shortly, expect this, expect that, the doctor will be here shortly. It was all a rush. 6 a.m. Is when I arrived and my 8 a.m. Surgery time came much to quickly.
I was told only Chris could be in the operating room, imagine the excitement and we all shared when they said the dads could come in as well! We all walked the hall together. The men however stopped at the operating room door while I walked through to receive my spinal block. Chris is my rock so I was a nervous wreck without him.
It took 15 minutes, many tears and the nurse repeating "relax Alexis" to get the block but finally I was numb. Maybe "finally" isn't a good describing word, because though I was numb my mind was racing...I hated being awake and not being in control of my body. I was in panic mode and I needed Chris. As they sat up the sterile field around my stomach I began to gag...no vomit came up though due to the numbness in my abdomen, there for I choked on my own fear causing me to pass out. I could hear everything going on around me, my nerves cause my blood pressure to spike. I had a weird moment where I honestly thought I was dying...I'm pretty dramatic I admit and being in this helpless numb state didn't help.
Chris and the guys entered the room, all a little nervous and unsure what to expect, as was I! Soon I heard "the incision has been made" I felt nothing! Chris taped the surgery and talked to me so I would stay calm, which didn't work because I passed out once more. Soon came tugging and pushing and pulling....then I looked at one of the guys...a shocked look took over his face, then a smile and a wave of tears and cries from both men and from a perfect 5 lb baby A! The expression on everyones face was the look of amazement...this surrogacy was real, the first baby was here! 1 minute later a healthy baby B was there joining us. Again, everyone in the room shared tears of joy! It was in this moment I knew, I COULD do this, I DID this...I had two healthy babies, and they belonged to 2 amazing men, and seeing what proud papas they were and seeing the appreciation written on their faces and the love expressed in their smiles and tears made it easy to hand both beautiful girls over to their parents!
Recovery was difficult, I'm officially calling myself out...I was a huge whimp! The couple roomed next to us so them and the twins visited us often, I wish I could put into words how natural both men are at parenting. They couldn't take their eyes off of the girls, constantly kissing their tiny four-heads, or rubbing their hair...they only let them out of their arms so that one of our many visitors could hold them, and they were very insistent that I spend time with the girls as well...which may seem like it would emotionally be hard but it was obvious who these daddy's girls belonged to so it wasn't hard at all, easy even, I just enjoyed the bonding time, with the girls and the dads.
The time in the hospital was short, 3 days, but in those 3 days my family grew. I grew to love the and understand the men even more and watching them go from two men into two dads was nothing short of life changing! Words will never describe the feels I have experienced during our time together!